


Waiting for Her

by LonelyWitch189



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), My First AO3 Post, My First Work in This Fandom, Rey is a badass, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo Fanfic Anthology, dream - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-08-14 14:09:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8017051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LonelyWitch189/pseuds/LonelyWitch189
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo Ren, after joining the Dark Side, chooses to give up on his feelings and to keep only violent emotions.  With the Force, he is able to do such a feat. Until Rey connects with that part of him long forgotten and changes start to occur inside the mind of the Knight of Ren.<br/>Inspired by the tale East of the Sun West of the Moon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!!  
> This is my first Reylo fanfic, so I hope you all enjoy!  
> I also wish to thank everyone from the Reylo Anthology Project for the amazing experience!  
> Big hugs to you all!

 

_“The weather was wild and rough outside, and it was cruelly dark. The rain was falling and the wind blowing, until the walls of the cottage shook.”_

 

Rey was far away from home. Jakku was a desolate place, with deserts and a scorching sun. But, instead, she found herself in a forest, or at least that’s what she thought. Since she had never left her planet, all she could use as reference was what other scavengers and travelers had said about it. Regardless, everything seemed to fit, because the trees were so tall that they covered the night sky, and the flowers were so colorful, painting the ground with red, blue and lilac. She tried to see between the trees, yearning to find a way out. As she walked, sounds and flashes of light started to appear in the shadows. Visions of snow and darkness.

They seemed out of order, abstract concepts of feelings she could distinguish like fear, loneliness, anger and sadness all brought together, without a reason, as if they belonged to someone else. She couldn’t be more confused. Never, not even in her most terrifying nightmares, had she dreamed like this. Then, as she turned to try to go back to her initial spot, and to wake up from this strange dream, she saw a giant bear staring at her. He was much bigger than any beast she had ever had the misfortune to encounter back on her planet. His fur appeared to be white, but the shadows covering him almost made it black. Brown eyes stared at her and it seemed like the bear could see her soul.

“You should leave. This place is dangerous,” the bear’s words echoed on her mind. This is getting weirder than she thought.

“Where this place is exactly?” she said, even if talking to a bear made no sense whatsoever.

“It can’t be located by normal means. Only a certain kind of people can come here but, even so, it’s still not safe. That’s why you need to leave.”

“I don’t know how. Besides, why are you here?” she asked, not knowing why such a beautiful creature could have such sad eyes.

“I’m trapped in this forest. I’ve chosen the wrong path and to survive, I was forced to be locked away forever.” The bear lowered his head and closed his eyes. Rey could not refrain from feeling sorry for him.

“I’m sorry about that. But can’t you escape? After all, if you can get in, you can get out, right?” Her scavenger experience gave enough proof of such. That’s what she said to herself whenever she got trapped in ships that were labyrinths on their own.

“It doesn’t work like that. This is a cage for me and can only be unlocked by the person who put me here in the first place.” He shook his head and opened his eyes. “But I appreciate your concern.” The bear and his emotions almost flood her mind. Honestly, she learned that the hard way; taking care of someone else may make you vulnerable or in trouble so she always made sure to look after herself. But it seemed that this beast would make her refute everything she thought about surviving.

“Well, then tell me who did this and I will make this person free you.” He chuckled; the deep sound almost made her jump, and said, “I’m afraid this is not viable. Doing so will only make you his target, and when he sets his eyes onto something, he never lets go.” The way he spoke was probably meant to scare her off, but she didn’t back away.

“Well, this will be my problem to handle. So show me the way out and leave the rest to me,” she said, while crossing her arms. She didn’t know what the bloody hell was passing through her mind. And yet, here she was, volunteering to enter a fight that wasn’t hers to begin with.

“It seems that I won’t be able to convince you otherwise.” He shook his head again, but this time Rey could see his eyes gleaming with happiness and relief.

“I can help you find an exit, but the rest is up to your own choice. Saving me will require not only bravery but also understanding and perseverance.”

“Are you trying to make me quit?” she asked as he stepped closer to her, slowly coming out of the shadows, his fur much whiter than she thought.

“No, just warning you of the obstacles ahead.” He stopped right in front of her, his head at the same level as her own, and his eyes looking at her with care and worry.

“Sorry if I’m being rude but I never asked what you were. I have never seen nor have I heard of someone like you.” She slowly detangled her arms and hesitantly, reached for his head.

“What you are seeing right now is a fragment of my mind, a representation of everything that was needed to be cast aside.” He crossed the space separating them and let her hand rest between his ears. She frowned.

“I don’t understand. How could one separate their own mind?” she asked, patting his head.

“It’s complicated. I ask that you trust me on this matter and stay in the dark for a little longer.” He leaned into her hand.

“Alright, I will, though I have no idea why,” she said, shaking her head. “Now, can you show me the way? This place is starting to freak me out.” She didn’t know if her mind was playing tricks again, but she could swear that some shadows were moving toward them. The bear agreed.

He moved his massive body to the side and said, “Get on my back and I will guide you back safely.” An expressive ‘no’ was about to be said when she noticed the flowers start to turn black around them. So, as he lowered his bulk to the ground for her to climb on, she jumped on him and balanced herself by putting both her legs around him. As soon as she was accommodated, he got up and started to walk. The forest was beginning to become darker and the stars above lost their shine.

“Are you afraid?” he asked, hurrying his step, trying to get away from the shadows. But, strangely, perhaps for feeling his fur or his warmth… no, she wasn’t.

"Just hold tight to my shaggy coat, and there's nothing to be afraid of," said the bear. And, as she did so, for the first time in many years, she felt protected. She closed her eyes to try to only feel him and the next thing she knew, a blinding light surrounded them.

 

She woke up the next morning feeling exhausted, with hair clinging to her face due to sweat. She looked over the place she called home and everything seemed normal. No forest, no bear. She went outside; the sun was starting to rise. Desert and arid air welcomed her back and she was relived. No one was chasing her. Taking two deep breaths, she came back inside and started to gather the things she needed later to scavenge. Later that day, she disregarded the dream, even forgetting most of it. After all, she needed to focus on surviving until her family came to pick her up. At least, that’s what she thought, until she saved a BB unit and all hell broke loose, leading to her escape from Jakku, meeting Finn and destroying a planet.


	2. Going to The Castle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Hope you guys like this new chapter!

_“She rode a long, long way, until they came to a large steep cliff. The white bear knocked on it. A door opened, and they came into a castle, where there were many rooms all lit up; rooms gleaming with silver and gold.”_

 

Rey couldn't believe she was here in the forest again. Even being trained by Master Luke seemed to have no effect at all, because the bear of her dreams was calling her. After everything that happened, blowing up Starkiller Base and the fight in the snow, she was sure of the identity of the bear. Or whatever that animal represented.

The forest was the same, colorful and bright, but there was a new addition. A castle, almost as big and tall as the ships she used to climb in the desert. All black, made of stones and marble. The moon reflected on the windows, giving the place an ethereal appearance. It was by far the most beautiful place she had ever been, offering a different kind of warmth, one she never felt, not even on Ahch-To where the Force calmed her. No, here the warmth pulsated with strength and emotion.

“It seems you came back after all,” the bear said, as he appeared through the trees, his white fur shining in the moonlight.

“Not really my choice, if you want to know,” she told him, as her arms crossed at her chest. “But again, this is becoming rather a habit for us, right?”

At this, Rey could swear he flinched.

“I’m sorry. Please accept my apologies on his behalf.” He lowered his head, as if pained to remember. She couldn’t believe the same man who chased and fought her was the bear standing right in front of her.

“I know it’s difficult to comprehend, but he and I are the same. Two sides of a being that is literally being torn apart by his decisions, by his emotions.” 

She knew he was speaking the truth, even though she couldn’t really understand what he meant. How could someone be split into two? What kind of madness had she gotten herself into?

“Look, I really have no idea what you’re talking about. But what I do know is that you are Kylo Ren, the one who killed his own father and is desperately trying to find my master.” She got closer to him, trying to make him realize what was really happening out there. “Only the Maker knows why. Ren doesn’t seem at all like you, but he did everything I just said without faltering, and will continue to do so.”

Rey stared deep into his eyes, seeing the same ones that had looked back at her in the interrogation room, but with much more sadness and regret, feelings she’d felt during their last encounter, much more amplified.

“I told you so, didn’t I? That for you to save me you needed to be understanding.” He shook his head quietly, almost as if regretful. “But it’s apparent now that your only wish is to destroy me. Perhaps because you fear for your friends or for yourself.” He turned around, as if heading to the castle.

“Wait, you’re just going to leave me here?” she said, with panic in her voice.

“Don’t worry; you’ll leave as soon as your body wakes up. But I would suggest building up stronger mental walls if you wish to not come here anymore.” He continued to walk away from her, and she couldn’t understand why her chest hurt so much at seeing him leaving.

She still could recall her last dream with him, how quickly she offered to free him, acting so courageously; believing that after years of fighting for herself there was nothing she couldn’t face. How wrong she was. Now she knew about the Force, the true strength of the First Order and of course, the power one could hold with a lightsaber like Kylo Ren and Master Luke. The galaxy seemed so vast, making people and things much more frightening than she could ever hope to defeat.

Despite that, she couldn’t leave him. For some reason way beyond her comprehension, she felt drawn to him, to the entity that represented a long forgotten part of the man in the mask. And, if she was being true to herself, her encounters with him when she was awake only strengthened their bond. She could negate it, build up walls to close her heart and mind, but the truth was still there. They were connected somehow. And whatever this was, even against her better judgment, she must try to at least understand and figure it out, possibly not all by herself.

“Wait! Hold on,” she shouted at him, running after the white spot in the forest. She couldn’t refrain from thinking back to the chase on Takodana and their fight in the snow, but this time she was the pursuer. She was so focused on trying to reach him that she didn’t realize how close they had come to the black castle. Only when she reached the border between the dense high trees and the vast field did the dark building really show itself. She abruptly stopped in her tracks, looking for the bear. He was crossing a bridge to reach the castle, which she could see now, was on the other side of a cliff.

“Stop, please! We need to talk!” She started to run again, this time knowing for sure he listened when he turned his head at her direction. Slowing down, she almost crossed the bridge, waiting for him to turn around fully.

“Rey, you should just leave. Being here is dangerous for both of us,” he said, almost pleading to her. She scoffed. Clearly he didn’t know her that well if he truly believed she would just run away.

“Told you before, I can look out for myself. This may be a very strange situation, but regardless, I promised you I would help, so I will.” She tried to catch her breath, remembering why running in the wild was such a difficult task. “But I can only do that if you help me. I need to understand what is happening with us and how you ended up here. I may not have training, but I think I’m strong enough to help you and your other half.”

“And why would you do that? As you so fiercely put, my counterpart is a person who has done terrible things to the galaxy and will not stop until his goal is fulfilled. Why would you try to help such a horrific person?” he said, and his tone showed anger and annoyance at her.

“To be honest, I don’t know either, but I feel that whatever is connecting us together is important, and right now it’s guiding me to you. I tend to follow my instincts and they’re telling me to figure out why we are in this position, and what it represents for the both of us.”

“So you are just going to ignore all that I have done in favor of your gut? I’m sorry, but that doesn’t seem convincing at all.”

“I’m not ignoring what you did, but I think there is more to you than just your actions. Besides shouldn’t I be the suspicious one around here? After all, you’re the one who tried to kill me, so if anyone should be looking for reassurances, that should be me.” She crossed her arms again, trying to assure him that she wouldn't leave. She couldn't stop thinking about how the whole situation was surreal. She was making sure that Kylo Ren, one of the most feared men in the galaxy, could trust her. And above all, at his fluffy and apparently, more gentle part. If this was some sort of test from the Force, she needed to have a long conversation with Master Luke about how the Force ‘connected all things together’.

"I'm sorry for my reservations, but after such a long time, trusting is a very difficult thing for me," he said, tiredly. She didn't blame him. For someone who had lived so long only depending on herself, letting another person in was rather complicated. But if they wanted this to work, they needed to trust each other.

“Believe me, I understand, probably better than anyone," she whispered, and felt more than saw him get closer to her.

"Perhaps we have more in common than we both realize," he said, and his snout was so near her face she couldn't resist caressing his soft fur. He was beautiful.

"So any particular reason why you chose the bear as your alter ego?" This was the question that had been bugging her since she found out who he truly was.

"My subconscious apparently chose for me, but I believe my childhood played an important role in the decision," he said, guiding her through the bridge, with Rey still holding his head.

"Did you meet with a giant bear when you were younger?”

He chuckled. "No. Before my Jedi training began, I used to read a lot of books. It was one of my favorite things to do, and the ones I enjoyed the most were filled with fantasy and adventures. One in particular caught my eye, the tale of a man who was cursed to have a beast inside him and a brave woman was his only hope of being free.” He glanced at her, probably judging her reaction to his memory and the irony of the situation.

“Is that so? Never took you for a reader.” She rolled her eyes. “And before you ask, yes, I see the similarities. But this time, it seems the beast is the good guy and the man is the true monster.” She clenched her fingers into his fur, remembering running away from the creature with a mask.

“Things are far more complicated than they look.” He sighed and stared ahead, as if the black marble could give him all the answers he needed.

“I know, but can you blame me for being a bit wary of him? Besides, one of the reasons I’m here is to figure out this whole mess.”

“And you can only do so if you start to realize he and I are the same.” He looked at her then, and shook his head. “Never mind, I guess you need to learn this by yourself. We’re here.”

The castle was right in front of her, which surprised Rey. She looked back quickly, wondering how they arrived there so fast. She was right; the place was as black as the night sky, the great doors almost reflecting her. The windows were all covered by black curtains, giving a mysterious atmosphere. What, by the stars, was inside this building?

“What are we doing here?” she asked, dreading the answer.

“This is an important place for me, Rey. It guards some powerful things and for that reason, I need to know if you are fully prepared to enter. Because if you do, then we can’t come back. We need to pass through all that it guards until we reach the other side,” he said, in a serious tone.

She was going to meet the real person under the mask.

“What’s inside?” she asked, while looking again to the castle.

“Memories, thoughts and feelings of a hunted man. You said you wanted to understand our bond. For that you need to comprehend the true face of Kylo Ren.” He fully turned to her and in a determined voice, said, “Who he truly is and what drives him is guarded inside that castle. But I must warn you, Rey, what’s in there is not pretty. The Force probably will make it worse since we’re bonded, so you must be certain that you want to step forward on this matter.”

She was torn. Again, doubt came to her mind. For a man to be where he was right now, Kylo Ren must have gone down some really horrible paths. If Master Luke’s expression was anything to go by, these paths probably started way too soon in his life. But she couldn’t run away. Not now. There was good in him; the bear standing right in front of her is proof enough of that. She never gave up very easily during her scavenger days and she didn’t plan to start now. Besides, her life had turned upside down and everything she believed had been put to the test. Why stop  now?

“Yes, I’m certain. I want to go inside.” She breathed deeply and looked at the bear. “Can I ask something first? Why did he block you? I can’t understand why.”

“Because his feelings were getting in the way. The path to the Dark Side has many sacrifices and pains. Compassion and tenderness are but liabilities.” He answered mechanically, as if that phrase had been stuck deeply inside him, and he didn’t like it.  

“Well to me, that sounds like gibberish.”

He chuckled, calming down almost immediately.

“But let’s do it. Time to meet the real man,” she said, and started to walk toward the doors.

She barely walked two steps before the tall doors slowly opened. She tried to see inside but nothing besides darkness greeted her.

“His true name is not Kylo Ren,” the bear said, with a whisper she barely could hear. His eyes were downcast, refusing to meet her confused expression.

“What do you mean?”

He looked up slowly, as if fearing her reaction. “Kylo Ren is the name he chose after joining the Knights of Ren. His parents gave him another, one with a deep connection to the past.” He breathed and said, with sadness, “His true name is Ben…”

“ _What do you think you’re doing?!”_

And whatever the bear was trying to say was interrupted by the angry shout of the Dark Knight himself, standing just on the border of the castle and the bridge, literally making the whole place shake with his voice and the Force.


	3. Facing the Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it goes my third chapter! Enjoy!

_“After she had gone to bed, and put out the light, a man came and laid himself alongside her. It was the white bear, who cast off his pelt at night; but she never saw him, for he always came after she had put out the light.”_

 

“What are you doing here, scavenger?! How did you manage to come in here?” he said, his rage crashing into her mind with an intensity she had never felt.

“You know how she got in. You let her,” the bear growled, positioning himself between her and the raging man. “The bond you’re trying so hard to deny is still here, whether you want it or not.”

“I don’t have to listen to a shadow, especially one who was not supposed to be out of his cage.” He raised his hand, and the bear was picked up from the floor and thrown inside the castle. Before either could do anything, the doors closed with a thud.

“No!” Rey screamed, and tried to open the doors, but they didn’t budge.

“It’s useless. You’re inside my mind. You don’t have any power in here.”

She looked back and turned around, guarding herself. She may be in his mind, but the chances of them fighting were still high.

His new scar was covering part of his face. He no longer used his long vestments, opting for a black shirt and pants. He seemed disheveled, his face almost a replica of the way he was after the interrogation, surprised and afraid.

“I came here unconsciously, but decided to stay.” She tried to not let her voice waver. “Your counterpart was trying to help me with the bond. I was looking for answers; he was willing to give them to me.”

“Why did you come to us? As far as I know, Luke Skywalker is training you.” He almost spat the name, but still chose to not move from where he was. “He is your master, ask him.”

“This has nothing to do with him, and you know it. We are connected, this is our problem.” She was slowly crossing the distance between them and he seemed much more wary than a person who claimed to be in perfect control of the situation.

“I have nothing to say to you. You refused everything that I offered. If you haven’t changed your mind, than we have nothing to talk about.” She couldn’t believe him, because his feelings were telling her otherwise. Now close to him again, she could feel it--the bond joining them together, more powerful than with the bear.

“You are afraid,” she said, whispering to him. “You are afraid of this connection, of what it can do to you, to us.”

She felt more than saw his fists clenching, his eyes unable to meet hers, now that she was so close to him, just a foot apart.

“Why are you ignoring me? Is it because of the Light?” He snapped his eyes back at her, and his presence almost faltered.

“Why don’t you just go away? Are you not supposed to stay as far from me as you can? I’m a monster, remember?!” He said in a loud voice that almost made her jump. “I killed Han Solo and I almost killed you!”

He was breathing hard, towering over her and yet she wasn’t afraid. Deep down she knew. Here, in this place, he wouldn’t hurt her. No, he never had the intention to hurt her, even when they first met.

“Recently, someone said I should keep my mind open. I see now why he said that.” She looked up at his eyes, not faltering for a moment. “You can lock yourself in this prison and never come out if that’s your wish. But, if there’s a part of you that is not afraid to let me in, that is as connected to me as I am to you, than I’m going try to do my best to help. I promised this to your other part, I’m promising now to you as well. Think about it and call to me when you decide.”

She could feel his doubt, but she meant every word. The bear was still there. If she could bring him out again, she was sure something good will happen. Their bond almost hummed with agreement.

Somehow, she could also feel that her time is running out.

“Goodbye, Ben,” she said and his eyes widened. He moved to reach out, but the world was fading and she fell into nothingness.  

  


When her eyes opened again, she stared at the ceiling of the hut that was her home now on Ahch-To. Sitting and passing her hand through her hair, Rey tried to center herself. She crossed her legs, closed her eyes and tried to meditate like Master Luke told her, to concentrate in peace and silence, letting the Force soothe every emotion.

After a few moments, her feelings were better reined in and she was finally able to give some order to her thoughts. What happened back there? The bear was locked away and a castle appeared, along with a very disturbed Kylo Ren. She was certain that they talked. The dream was not just a product of her imagination, but a way for them to communicate with each other. How she ended up in his mind was another problem entirely, not knowing if it was her power that broke in or if he had invited her mind to enter, like the bear had said. She sighed and opened her eyes.

The sun cast its light through the little holes in the hut, with an ocean breeze coming to her regardless of the cloth she hung at the entrance, giving her new home a relaxing mood, something she definitely craved. Her training always started early so she needed to hurry up, leaving her makeshift bed and picking her clothes, thoughts of the dream cast aside to deal with later. Her mind should be as relaxed as possible; a lesson learned the hard way during her first meditation.

As she exited her new home, after grabbing her staff, her trek began. Her Master enjoyed giving lectures at the top of a cliff, saying that the Jedi Temple around it made for a perfect spot to channel the Force. Honestly, she didn’t mind, her scavenging side already used to such a thing. Besides, it offered a great view of the ruins, which she was anxious to explore. Her own hut was a detached part of the great temple, its round form full of words inside she couldn’t decipher. But Luke never allowed it, saying that the temple was dangerous for untrained minds; ghosts from the past still resided in the old place. She wasn’t scared despite that, having already faced a difficult mind.

“Is there something bothering you, Rey?” She looked up and saw Master Luke already in his crossed legs position, facing the ocean, eyes closed.

“How did you know I was here?” she asked with a playful tone. It was not the first time he had been aware of her presence.

“Your Force signature is strong, even in a place like this. Besides, hearing someone as they step close to you is a survival skill one has to learn. Not very useful in the desert, but an important asset if you’re alone in a dense forest,” he said, with a voice that radiated wisdom.

Because of his peaceful presence and elderly face, Rey sometimes forgot that Luke Skywalker was a great warrior and probably knew how to fight in any environment, unconcerned about the odds. He did defeat the Empire, after all.

He sighed and stood faster than a man his age should. “It may not be my business, but this morning your mind was in turmoil. If you need to talk about it, I’m here. I know how the Force can affect a person, especially in the presence of painful memories.”

He turned and Rey could see the worry in his eyes. She still had to get used to people caring about her well-being but, for reasons she couldn’t grasp, this man had managed to make her feel safe, in a way that mirrored General Leia.

“Don’t worry, it’s just that I have to get used to the intensity of the dreams.” She put her arms around herself, offering just part of the truth, “Sometimes they are…overwhelming.”

He walked to where she was standing and put a hand on her shoulder in a comforting manner. “Trust me, I know. Not only from my own experience, but my younger apprentices also suffered the same pain.” At that, Rey could feel his sadness. This man probably would never recover from what happened to his academy, even though the galaxy needed him. “If you try to meditate before sleep and build up stronger defenses, it will help your sleep, but it won’t be a cure. The dreams will still come, but their effects will lessen.”

She couldn’t help but feel déjà vu at his words. Someone told her the same thing not so long ago. And then it hit her. _The bear._ He said that to her as a way to stop their connection from happening in her dreams, a way to block him out. It shouldn’t, but the fact surprised her. He was advising her to use the same methods his uncle once taught him. And perhaps, Master Luke wasn’t just talking about his apprentices long gone.  

“If you wish, I could show you how. It’s not so different from meditating,” he said, bringing her back to the moment. He sat again, ready for a lesson.

“Yes, I would like that,” she said, sitting as well and placing her staff beside her. Learning this technique would help her, but Rey had yet to decide if she would use it. After all, helping Kylo was a task for which she was not sure either of them was prepared, but letting him fall deeper into the darkness wasn’t an option.

Later, they both make the trip back to their settlement. After a much deserved breakfast at the temple kitchen, one of the few places which Luke has managed to reconstruct, they parted ways. Her Master recommended that she explore the planet after their morning sessions, a way to connect her to the Force and to add experience, since all planets are different in a way or another, and she must be prepared for any environment if she planned to fight in the war.

Rey took the advice to heart, exploring the forests and cliffs with great curiosity. The sea is something at which she marveled, even though she was not able to swim. After living in the desert her whole life, seeing that much water was a sight she wouldn’t forget. Using her staff as a way to stabilize herself in the rocky mountains full of trees, her mind couldn’t help but remember the dream. She couldn’t ignore it forever. Taking deep breaths, she chose to confront it while climbing, her mind always a better judge while doing something simple and almost instinctive.

First, she needed to understand what happened back there. It seemed Kylo had split his mind into two; the bear the hidden part, which she was starting to believe was everything related to Ben. Apparently, he was trying to bury this half deep into his mind, so that he could ignore his feelings and become a ruthless monster. But, bear Kylo was trying to fight back. Second, he didn’t know what to do, probably the reason why he started his revenge against his family. And third, they were bonded. She guessed that their mental fight in the interrogation room had something to do with it; a Force pull that allowed her to dream with him, even when there were galaxies between them.

But how far could this bond go? Could she bring him back to the Light? Or at least stop him from murdering people? Asking his relatives for help may not be a great idea, and she wouldn’t lead her friends into this mess. Anything she decides to do will be at her own risk.

Her climbing lead her to a clearing with some old ruins and a river passing through, leading straight to the sea. A quiet place with a strong Force influence. Luke had said she would find places like this next to the mountains and suggested for her to meditate in them. A way to clear the mind, he advised. Honestly, she was tired of this and would have preferred a more fighting related training. Anyway, she chose a rock that seemed comfortable enough, adjusted herself to the crossed legs position facing the ocean, and closed her eyes.

But this time, instead of disregarding her emotions and trying to find peace, she took a new route. Searching inside of her mind, Rey searched for the vibrant thread that connected her to Kylo. In the dream, when they faced each other, it pulsated and almost yanked them. Now, in a more controlled state, it was just warm. She held the string with all her might and tries to focus on the Force. And before she knew it, there was someone with her, inside her mind but not quite an invasion. Almost like a presence, a floating cloud in her conscience.   

_“Hello, scavenger.”_


	4. Facing the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter. Rey makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! So, I apologize for the late chapter. I didn't realize I hadn't posted until now, since a lot of things happened in my life, and my mind wasn't 100%. But I still hope you all enjoy!!

_ “At last they came to a grand house. Her brothers and sisters were outside running about and playing. Everything was so pretty, it was a joy to see. "This is where your father and mother live now," said the white bear. "Now don't forget what I told you, else you'll make us both unhappy." _

 

She couldn’t believe it. He was talking to her from a galaxy away and yet it felt like they were so close, as in the dream.

_ Trust me, it’s a surprise for me as well.  _ And she could feel his sarcasm. Stars, how could he be so calm?

_ How are we doing this? _

_ Didn’t you tug me into your conscience?   _

The thread. When she concentrated on the Force, it probably called to him without her knowledge.

_ So it was an accident? You really are amazing, Rey. Managing to pull something like that off, not even the ancient Masters could. _

She was speechless. The man seemed to be impressed with her discovery; he wasn’t afraid at all. And if Kylo knew this was something rare, he probably knew much more about this bond than he let on.

_ Smart girl. It’s a shame you chose the wrong Master. We could have accomplished so many things together. _

_ You know that I couldn’t have accepted your offer. I still can’t. But you can accept mine. _

And then she could feel it. His confidence being swayed at her proposal. It seemed the dream affected them both on a much deeper level.

_ This is impossible. What I have done cannot be left behind. I belong to the Dark Side now. _

_ But if there was a chance to redeem your actions, would you accept it? To take a different path? _

It was a dream, she knew. But, even against the odds, she needed to try.

_ I appreciate your concern. It’s something I haven’t seen directed at me for a long time. But this is not a bedtime story, Rey. In real life, monsters don’t turn back into honorable princes. They are killed. I’m sure you know this brutal aspect of the galaxy far better than I ever will. _

He was right. Having to live alone in an unsafe place taught you about how cruel and mean people could be, regardless of their reasons. She would carry what she learned for all her life until the day she met her Maker. But she wasn’t on Jakku anymore. Since she left the arid planet, new things and experiences popped at every turn. The galaxy may have a heartless side, but it also had beautiful and amazing things. She wouldn’t let her rough memories take that from her, and she wouldn’t let him do it, either.

_ You heard me, didn’t you? I will not turn away. I’m no hero, but you can be sure that I won’t give up. _

A great silence passed before he spoke again _. _

_ Rey, you’re the bravest person I know. But I think that before you make choices like that, you need to know the whole truth. Remember the black castle from the dream? I will allow your entrance. As I’m sure my counterpart warned you, it’s a dangerous place. My memories are locked there, and it can overwhelm someone as Force-sensitive as you are. _

_ And if I still decide to help you?  _ She asked, defiantly.

_ At the end, you will know where to find me. Goodbye, Rey. _

She could still feel him in her mind, but this time he was not just a presence. His consciousness enveloped her and it was like she was drowning in darkness. She couldn’t tell where he ended and she began. Suddenly, like a dam breaking, his memories made their way to her all at once, an avalanche of feelings that overcame her. She saw young Ben Solo playing with Chewbacca on the Millennium Falcon, his first true use of the Force when he almost threw a golden protocol droid into the wall, his father’s absence, his mother worry, his fear and excitement when he arrived at his uncle’s academy, when he first saw a light saber in action, his nightmares of a shadowed creature who whispered to him about greatness and how his family had left him alone, his anger growing at his fellow apprentices, at his questions that were never really answered and how the knowledge of his lineage was exposed to all to see.

And then blood began to be shed. She saw his cross guarded red light saber killing children, how he extinguished a little ball of light with every movement of his wrist. He could sense every death, every pain like his own. When he was going away, his shuttle almost leaving the planet, she saw and felt along with Kylo Ren his uncle’s silent scream of anguish, amplified by his power in the Force, for all near to know. He lead his Knights into battle against the Resistance, his manhunt for Skywalker and Han Solo falling into the abyss. When exhaustion was almost making Rey crumble under the weight of these horrible memories, another one made its appearance. She saw Kylo going after her on Takodana, sweeping her into his arms. Then, they were on Starkiller and he bent under her power. They were fighting in the snow and in his mind she could feel his admiration. He had found his equal, his other side, his Light. And then, almost in the back of her mind, she heard the bear say, “ _ This is our story. It may have started with a lot of sadness, but it doesn’t have to end with pain. Perhaps we can both start over, Rey, but again, this is all up to you.” _

 

She opened her eyes, the night sky shining brightly above her. Her body felt extremely tired, like a mob had stomped on her and only her head was able to move. Slowly, she noticed her surroundings. Her body was laid under a heavy blanket, next to a fire, her layers of clothes also helping to keep the warmth. She could see Luke sitting by her side, looking at the ocean with a stern gaze.

“What happened?” Her voice was barely a whisper now, her lips cracking without enough humidity. Regardless, he was able to hear her, as he instantly grabbed a vial of water and kneeled at her side.

“Easy, you’re almost collapsing.” He sighed and helped her drink, with worry on his gaze again. “After the sunset, I went looking for you, worried that you had gotten lost. Found you passed out near your staff at some old ruins. Brought you out here so your body could be at peace while your mind was within the Force. I could feel your distress, Rey. This wasn’t a normal dream vision. You were awake.”

After drinking every last drop of water, and eating some fruit and bread, she was a little better. Her body was again working properly and she could sit without help. And yet her mind was in a constant state of pain and sleepiness, perhaps a side effect of sharing so many memories at once. Because of how this all worked out in the end, it was indeed a necessity to tell the truth to her Master.

“I know. My dream last night had something to do with this as well.” She looked into his eyes and asked all the gods above for this nice old man to not hate her. “I’m connected to Ben because of a Force bond, and we were communicating with each other.” 

“A bond? So you and my nephew are linked through the Force. You should know that it’s extremely rare, especially because so few of us exist in the galaxy right now.”

“I know, he said that to me. Something about us using a technique the old ones couldn’t.” She looked at the fire, trying to calm her emotions and not thinking about the things uncovered this afternoon.

“He is right, in a manner of speaking. A Force bond could be a useful tool during battle and wars, so Masters of both sides tried to recreate it. They failed multiple times; a connection like this not easily forged and maintained through life.”

“Trust me, a word that can’t be used to describe this whole situation is ‘easy’. Especially because of the person on the other end.” She frowned, still able to feel him, a silent buzz at the back of her mind.

“Yes, I’m aware that having him as a mind companion can be exhausting, mainly because of his past and current actions,” Luke said with certain anguish in his voice, trying to contain anger or sadness. “But we can find a way to sever the connection, Rey. You already beat him back in a mind invasion. I’m sure you can cut him out, with the proper instruction.”

At this, her mind went to alarm. He wanted to rip their bond apart! Even after seeing all his most painful memories, she couldn’t do it. His presence might be an inconvenience, but to extinguish it forever was not something she thought herself capable of.

“I don’t want to cut it, Master Luke. It’s a line that affects more than just my mind. I can’t let it go like this,” she pleaded, trying to make him understand, when an idea popped into her mind. “And I plan to use it as a way to bring him back to the Light.”

He shook his head and said, “He can’t be brought back, Rey. He is being controlled by Snoke and won’t listen to reason. If you try it, he will only end up hurting you.”

She clenched her fist and almost growled. What was it about these Skywalkers trying to protect her?

“I can take care of myself. Besides, that’s exactly why he needs help. If he is not able to see reason, I will make sure he does. I offered to help him and he accepted.” His current localization in her brain was enough proof of that. She knew this wasn’t a trap, or a way to kill her. He actually wanted her to come after him.

She put her hand on his arm, just like the way he had done this morning and said, “I know what he did. To you and to every other person in the galaxy. He showed me all of it. And while I don’t forgive him for any of this, I can’t abandon him. I’m sorry, Master.” 

With her legs in a better state, she got up, grabbing her staff to use as a support. She could sense his worry and apprehension, but knew he wouldn’t stop her.

He sighed. “Something tells me you are not going to stay here anymore. What are you planning to do, Rey?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know yet, but tomorrow I’m going after him. I know where he is, and I guess it’s time we talked face to face.”  He rose from his seat to help her, but instead she hugged him. “Thank you, Luke. I don’t have any idea how to repay you.”

He patted her back with a chuckle. “There’s no need of such a thing. Besides, if you can find a good use for what I’ve taught you and survive, that would be enough reward.” 

And then he stepped aside and said, but in a much resigned tone, “And if you succeed in bringing him home, Rey, then I will be the one in debt to you.”


End file.
